essica Simpson's boobs may actually be about to explode

In the highly unlikely event that Jess’s, erm, bangers do indeed detonate, what is the etiquette for avoiding flying bits of tit? Take cover under an umbrella? Evacuate women and children first?

Quite a quandary. And one we shall hopefully never have to consider. Still, best to know procedure in the case of a potential knocker shocker.

Nonethefriggingless, as much as we love her working it for the curvier sisters (as if she’s that curvy anyway) her rack does seem to be reaching maximum capacity.

What the hell is she eating? We didn't think they could get any bigger, but at this rate she might soon be able to rent out her spare bras as apartment space.
And incidentally, why is she dressed like a mafia moll at a funeral exactly?